Tryst with Taekwondo

"Hey dude! Can you be a little higher. You are right at my balls and trust me I dream to make a lot of kids", seven and a half feet Wim was paranoid to say the least, as I was alive and kicking during my first ever Taekwondo practice session. With no control over me -- my legs -- my body I was marshaling the art like a headless warrior and a while later it was my turn to yell "Hey Wim! Can you be a little lower or else I won't be able to see them." I was scared to death as Wim's forceful kick approached my face making me see the stars for the real. "What?" Wim did not understand. "I mean you are right in front of my eyes and if you make me blind how will I see your kids?", I responded and both of us gushed into laughter. "Ok! See, listen!...Take it easy, very easy and very very slowly" followed another piece of advice as we started practicing again.

It was my first ever session to learn Taekwondo -- the marshal art I chose to learn just because its name appear longest with the hope that once I learn it I will be strongest and mightiest. As I reached the hall for the first session of the semester expecting a lot of beginners I was surprized to find myself -- a solo tyro amongst an Uniformed group with a variety of colorful belts. Wondering if at all it was the session for beginners like me I inquired a Korean standing next to me. "Yeah! This is the Taekwondo practice session. You wanna fight with us?" beamed an enthusiastic Sam wavering his boxing fists to me. Looking at his black belt I started to take into account my fighting skills. As I started to list my accomplishments as a fighter, my illustrious resume flashed. All I have fought and tamed in my life are a large number of mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches and at times mice. Nevertheless, I used to dissect earthworms exploring its digestive, nervous and reproductive systems with aplomb during class XII biology labs. Cherry on the cake has been that I had also been a bemused spectator during a frog cutting session before I bid my adieu to the noblest disciplines called biology. So fighting with a black belt or for that matter anybody has always been out of question. "Are you crazy. This is my first ever time. I only wish if I can learn some tricks, get a bit fitter in a process and that's it. Fight and all. No way boss. I have never done it, may be this is not a place for me." , I was about to pack my bags thinking if at all I will reach home one piece if I stay over. "No, No. Do not worry. Just practice with us and you will be an awesome fighter. You can demonstrate to your friends and others the skills and they will be amazed. Who knows you may go to Bollywood as a fighter.", Sam was unstoppable. May be it was the lure of Bollywood that made me to stay and practice first session of Taekwondo.

After the warm-up session involving jogging and running, it was time to perform some stretching and kick practice, I was paired with another Korean girl - Ema. Somehow over the years I have always harbored an illusion that my body is not that unfit and certainly a lot more flexible than an average person, definitely worthy of surprising a bystander. But this girl was treating my stretching skills with contempt -- if not a disgrace. She looked at me the same way a F1 driver would tame a lame driver trying to pass a driving test and gestured to offer help as I was trying to stretch beyond my capacity. I only stopped because my pants would have teared off if I had gone an inch further. As I offered to aid her during her stretching she offered another disgraceful look. This was the look of a GM to an amateur chess player; of an expert to a novice as she stretched full 180 degrees to both left and right sides. My jaws were wide open spontaneously. She did not spare up and down stretches as well and she was equally good. It was as good as watching Nadia Comaneci's gymnastic performance. That too for free. To Say the least I was literally humbled. The kicking session saw another ordeal as many times I fall down thumping on my ass only trying to raise my kick -- high, high up to the sky. "Unless you are steady and in full control, never try to hit others", quipped the gymnast. I have also learnt, I remembered Rajkumer saying in his beaming voice: जिनके खुदके घर शीशे के हो वोह दूसरों पर पत्थर नाही फेका करते.